Attraction & Aversion

When we are present with ourselves, we will begin to notice those things with which we have the propensity to be drawn toward. Usually, these things are symbolic of aspects of ourselves we wish to amplify the expression of. These are our attractions. We seek them either consciously or unconsciously in the external world. There are times where the allure of our attraction resides in our shadow. This means that there is some unconscious force, some core idea or thought form beneath the surface that propels us toward the object of attraction. This may result in some unfavorable consequences. Think of all the countless times you've been attracted to something only to discover it wasn't in your best interest. Later you may reflect and wonder, why would I desire that for myself? This can often be the source of self-shaming when we make mistakes, especially in the realm of interpersonal relationships.

The shame is the result of a misunderstanding about the nature of the shadow self and conscious awareness. We are given our attractions as a gift. They become useful tools for helping us to identify where we have become disillusioned about the true source of our joy, love, peace and expression. Those experiences that are painful to us have a divine function. They remind us that external pursuits for inner fulfillment are unfruitful. They teach us to seek inwardly. They teach us to revolutionize our desire to receive Love into the desire to give it. The false perception that we need someone else to Love us is rooted in scarcity consciousness. Scarcity consciousness only produces more of itself. The core belief is that “ I am not enough unto myself; I need another to complete me.” Given that this belief violates the core truth of your divine creation, to have it satisfied would be to violate divinity itself. For this reason, we meet disappointment every time we try to seek completion outside of ourselves. This is due to the fact that we were created in God’s image. If we are not complete, then God is not complete. We learn from our attractions what is both true and untrue about our inner nature.

On the opposite side of this polarity are our aversions. Our aversions are those things that we are repelled from and repulsed by. They are symbolic of unconscious processes and biases that exist in our subconscious. Our aversions are also a gift unto us. They teach us which aspects of ourselves we demonize and judge against. To have the perception of anything in the external world literally implies identification with it. In other words, “ it takes one to know one.” The core belief behind our aversions is “ I should be better than this.” Sometimes our aversions are completely unsound. Some of my favorite relationships have developed with people who I made rash judgments about based on initial impressions. Therein resides another function of aversions. They teach us to withhold our judgments. While attractions are often the hidden face of our greatest lessons, aversions are often the hidden face of our greatest blessings. 

Holding sacred space for both our attractions and aversions is to walk a middle path of complete acceptance. This is the path of awakening the heart center. This is how we come to know ourselves as Love.